The idea for Aggressively Supportive was born on a drag stage after a show during our local Pride weekend.

My daughter had recently started performing and just as I’d done since she was 4, I cheered her on at as many shows as I could. Honestly, I appreciated the return on investment for 14 years of dance lessons. At the end of the show, one of her friends who had also performed wanted to take a picture with me. My sorta-Pride-like “Proud Mom” shirt didn’t quite have the right rainbow colors, but it came close enough to give the right impression.

The friend said, “I want a picture with you because my mom would never.”

My mom would never. To say it broke my heart would be an understatement. This friend may have been the first to share that experience, but they were not the last.

After several shows, I began to be recognized as my daughter’s mom. Young adults would come up, excited to meet me. I found this “celebrity by kinship” uncomfortable. After all, I’m just a mom supporting my kid and her wonderfully talented self. It’s kind of my job. It didn’t matter how loud the music played, these young LGBTQIA+ adults wanted to tell me their story. The details of where they grew up, when they came out, how religious their family was, whether they were in a relationship or not varied, but one thing did not: they were not supported by their parents.

It never gets any easier hearing that. The parents who brought these humans into the world can’t find enough love to support who their children are. I find it incredibly heartbreaking.   

As I looked around during Pride in the Park and the parade, I noticed a scarcity of proud parent attire, either for sale or worn. Pride is, of course, both a protest and a celebration for the LGBTQIA+ community and parents and allies should not be centered. Neither should they be absent.

I wanted something better than my off-theme “Proud Mom” shirt. Something that really described how I felt as a proud parent of two daughters who are queer, how I felt about the LGBTQIA+ community as whole and would be a message of solidarity with other parents of queer kids.

My youngest daughter and I workshopped some ideas to find
something that fit how I felt. We landed on Aggressively Supportive Mom. She said, “Yeah, that’s you.”

And here we are.

Parents and allies need to unapologetically stand up loudly and conspicuously for our queer children, no matter how old they are. It’s especially important now that the LGBTQIA+ community, particularly the Trans community, is once again under attack by state governments across the country. My mission is
simple: Our love must be louder.